Five factors you can control that can determine romantic chemistry

Published On: March 14, 2017 11:40 PM NPT By: Republica  | @RepublicaNepal


When it comes to meeting a potential partner, many people look for a spark or a special connection.

It can be hard to figure out exactly what makes you click with someone, but it turns out, there are actually some factors you can control that can determine romantic chemistry. Although there are definitely times when someone is just right or wrong for you, there can be situations where you get along with someone, but don’t feel that frisson you desire. In these cases, you can work on a few different things to help ignite that spark.

Ask questions
A study from State University of New York at Stony Brook found that intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by engaging in a series of questions.  Ask questions and be genuinely interested in the person. People love to talk about their favorite topics: themselves. They also appreciate when others take an interest in them.

Make compassionate statements
Empathy is essential in romantic relationships. Put yourself in their shoes and try to relate to what they’re saying emotionally. For example, if they said they were a ballerina for 10 years, you can say, “Wow! You must be really dedicated and hardworking. That takes a lot of ambition to do ballet.”

Go to therapy
Seeing a therapist won’t automatically make you fall in love with everyone around you, but it can help you understand yourself and work on your flaws. 

Spend a lot of time with the person
Need to amp up the chemistry? Spend more time with your love interest. When people become more familiar with each other, it increases their liking for one another, which is called the mere exposure effect. This can explain why friends eventually fall for each other over time.

Involve physical touch
Respectfully, of course. Touching, such as holding hands or playing footsies, encourages the release of the chemical oxytocin. Research shows that oxytocin not only helps us form monogamous relationship but encourages romantic relationships by increasing sympathy, supportiveness, and openness with feelings.

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