I stood there like a confused mannequin while she moved her body like a moonwalking bird
I don’t enjoy going to clubs and discotheques very much. The loud music, the throng of people, and the lack of places to sit is not something I look forward to. I could tolerate the music and the crowd, but the biggest reason I don’t go to clubs is that I suck at dancing and when you go to clubs, you pretty much have to dance.
Just yesterday, I had gone out with some friends to Purple Haze. The place was filled with people. There was no place to sit, or even stand. My friends didn’t mind the loud music or the crowd, but I stood there drinking my virgin mojito, waiting for the song to end so that I could exchange some words with my friends. A few moments later, my friend’s girlfriend asked me to walk around with her so that she could find me a girl to talk to. I jumped at the opportunity of scavenger hunting.
We had only walked a few steps when I spotted a very pretty girl standing alone. I turned to my friend and asked her to very subtly check out the pretty girl behind me. Instead of simply admiring her beauty from a distance, my friend decided to exchange words with her. I immediately got nervous. I took out my phone and started tapping on the blank screen pretending that I was doing something important. Not a minute later, I noticed someone dancing in front of me.
To my surprise, it was the girl I had spotted earlier. I wanted to do something, I wanted to reciprocate my enthusiasm, but I didn’t want to show it through my dance moves. I am horrible at dancing, I have the coordination of a drunk monkey, and I did not want her to see that then. I was so nervous that I went back to tapping on the blank screen of my phone. My friend pulled me aside and started yelling at me. “Dude, what are you doing? She thinks you are cute, she said you look strong. Why are you being so weird? Dance with her.”
“Why did you tell her to dance with me? You should have asked her to talk to me. I can’t dance. I don’t dance. I talk. That’s the only thing I know.”
She ignored my rant and pushed me towards the pretty girl and told me to dance. I stood there like a confused mannequin while she moved her body like a moonwalking bird. All of a sudden, I said, “Sorry, I can’t dance”, turned around and left. Why did I do that? Why would anyone do that? Who does that?
Needless to say, my friend promised to never be my wing-woman again.
There was this one time I was at a bar and this guy came up to me and said that his friend thought I was cute and he thought that I should dance with her. I took one look at her and smiled at the thought of how cute our babies would be. Aware of the fact that I am not a good dancer and that I have to use my brain to attract her, I began talking to her on the dance floor… over the loud music.
Normally this would be repellant to a lot of other girls, however, since she thought I was cute, she decided to ignore this idiotic act. Her friend, noticing that I was making a fool of myself, pulled me aside and said, “Dude, stop talking, and start dancing.” Now I am sort of a traditional dancer. I like to face the person I am dancing with (which does no good because I suck at dancing). However, he pulled me behind her and whispered to me, “grind with her”. I followed his instruction, realizing that he had my and her best interest at heart.
I do not have much experience in the grinding tradition. Non-grinding dance steps are hard enough, but grinding just confuses me. I never know what to do with my hands. Furthermore, are my hips supposed to move sideways, up-down, or front-back? And again, what should my hands be doing? Why would anyone invent such a difficult dance step?
I detached myself from the grinding activity and faced her to strike up a conversation. Her friend looked at me with a questioning expression and pulled me aside. I told him that I was not good at dancing, and that I wanted to talk to her and see if we like each other. He replied, “Fine, give it a shot. But I think it’s a mistake.”
I told him I wanted to risk it. I turned around to ask her if she wanted to sit and chat. To my dismay, someone had already taken my previously occupied place behind her. Rookie mistake.