The festival of lights is around the corner and preparations here in Nepal are in full swing with people already thronging the markets to buy clay lamps, string lights, gifts, and other such just Tihar things. While Dashain seems to go by in a blur as we rush from one relative’s house to another seeking their blessings, Tihar seems to be just the festive occasion when we can relax and revel in traditions that we actually enjoy.

This is the time when even the otherwise tiresome chore of cleaning your house seems like a fun affair. There is something about Tihar that just instantly lifts our spirits. But that’s on the home front. What about those who are living abroad, away from their families? What do they do for Tihar and what are their fondest memories of this joyous time? The Week spoke to some Nepalis in various corners of the globe to find out. 

Pradeep Pathak-London, United Kingdom

Nepal has a different festive vibe during Tihar. We do not get that here in London. I miss the love I used to get from my sisters during this festival. I remember, as a kid, I used to love putting the seven-colored tika on my forehead. It really was an exciting time.

These days, I connect with my family in Nepal through Facebook video chat and Skype. That way I feel closer to them, especially during festivals when I miss them the most. My kids, here in London, do not get holidays during Tihar. We still try to celebrate this festival and preserve our culture at home but it can never be the same.

Diwakar Khanal-Chicago, USA

Tihar, for me, is all about family, beautifully lit houses and delicious food. Going to the balcony and lighting our house up with numerous Diyo (oil lanterns) is what I miss the most about this festival. Not getting to celebrate Bhai Tika with my beautiful sisters brings tears to my eyes every Tihar.

But we do go to the temples during this time of the year, have sweets and try to make sel roti and phini. We also worship goddess Laxmi during Laxmi Puja. This way we feel rooted to our traditions. The Nepali community here also organizes various cultural programs which makes us feel more at home. 

Rahul Tiwari-Mumbai, India

I remember going from door to door to play Dheusi-Bhailo in Nepal. My brothers used to make me dance in the center. Collecting money at the end of every performance was the most exciting part. I also had a pet dog that used to get extremely excited during Kukur Tihar. Unlike other dogs, he loved wearing garlands and putting red tika on his forehead. I also miss getting gifts from my sisters during Bhai Tika. In Nepal, all five days of Tihar used to be exciting. Here, I meet my cousin sisters on the day of Bhai Tika but I just spend the other days playing cards and going out with friends.

Vivek Gurung-Gurgaon, India

Since my schooling was here in India as well, my memories of Tihar celebration are quite limited. I often have to look through old family photographs to remember all that happened during the festival celebrations.  

However, the memory of going out with the older boys in the locality for deusi-bhailo programs seems to have left an impression. I remember having a lot of fun. It was a standard deusi group and we were taught the lines of the song and basically asked to sing the chorus out with enthusiasm.  We had fun shouting and walking around the local area, that too at night. It was a treat back then. 

Tihar here is very loud, some may even call it noisy. There are big trucks fitted with statues of goddess Durga as well as music systems. They blast the music with speakers and drive around town. Each locality has their own procession and you can see youngster dancing around along with them. Back then, crackers were the highlight among us boys as well. It still is. The point is to have fun. 

Bisesh Gautam-London, United Kingdom

We are three brothers so we never really celebrated Bhai Tika. But I miss having sel roti, anarsa and phini cooked by my mother. Festivals in Nepal have a different vibe. It is celebrated with a lot of enthusiasm and joy. I miss that festive excitement and colorful rangolis we used to make back home. Here I have made a few sisters with whom I meet up for few hours to celebrate Bhai Tika. I also hang out with my Nepali friends, have good food and beer during Tihar.

Isha Upadhyay-Sydney, Australia 

This is my first “proper” Tihar away from home, and it doesn’t feel like it’s the festive season at all. When I was in India there were still celebrations going on which would stop me from being homesick. It’s my favorite time of the year and I will miss making the rangoli and lighting diyos around the house (complaining the whole time about how much my back hurts). It’s the best feeling when everything is done and the house is lit up and beautiful. I will be working on Tihar but I will be making a small rangoli on the porch and light candles on the stairs, and play deusi-bhailo on the phone with my family.  

Pranjal Ghimire-Sydney, Australia 

I have been away for most Tihars for the last six years so it just becomes another day for me where I go to work and university and forget about it till my mother calls. This year, however, my uncle has invited me over for dinner and has promised there will be sel roti, so I’m looking forward to that. We often forget how beautiful Kathmandu is, but during Tihar I think everyone takes a step back to admire it. I will miss going on evening drives with my family to just look at the lights and decorations.

Gaurav Nirola-Boston, USA

Tihar back home was all about excitement. My friends and I always used to go to Swayambhu and enjoy looking at the lit up valley. Having lived abroad for a little more than a decade now, they make for some very fond memories indeed. Most importantly, there used to be long holidays. You miss that here. The home cooked food, the card sessions, the getting together for deusi, the celebrations at our home was the same as many other households but it was special and fun in a very personal way.

When I had just arrived in USA, these festivities didn’t really matter. You can’t do a lot. You are busy studying or working and, at most, you send messages on group texts. But now that I am more settled, the opportunity to observe Tihar is a little more. You can call your friends and acquaintances around for dinner. The plan is to make good food, perhaps even attempt to make some sel roti.  Tihar is always a good reason to get together and chat about things back home.

Alisha Shrestha-Nebraska, USA

Regardless of how much you try when you are abroad, you obviously can’t recreate that festive atmosphere. I clearly remember the taste of the food during Tihar. I even have fond memories of the small chores that we had to carry out. This time of the year used to be very busy for our family and, though I am far away, I do like to do my best to recreate that festive vibe.

I have a few Nepali friends here in my university. This always makes it easier. We along with a few international students try and recreate Tihar here in Nebraska. Even this year, we have bought some Christmas lights, plan to make some Nepali food and then eat on the floor like the sukul bhuye style as they say in Newari. We also play some Nepali songs and talk about the deusi/bhailo memories. Since we don’t have a Laxmi statue here in our dorm, for the occasion, we even printed a photo of Laxmi.

Of all the people, my family really enjoys these photos of our celebrations. I make it a point to share it with them. They say that they are glad I’m celebrating with my friends rather than missing home. So even though it is midterm at the moment, I plan to host a little get together.

Subani Shrestha Gurung-Calgary, Canada

As a kid, the Tihar celebrations were vigorous. The festive buzz in our house would always start from the day of Kaag Tihar itself. I remember the pre-festival shopping as well. They used to be so intense that my mother needed all our help. 

My main responsibility was the flowers. We had to decorate both our house as well as my father’s workplace. I spent hours making and decorating the garlands. I remember that very vividly.

Then on the day of Laxmi Puja, there was the cleaning. As most traditional Newari households, we would sweep as well as apply red mud from the entrance of the house to each room. Our house was four-story tall and the tradition was to do it for all three days of Tihar. Needless to say, this is one part of the celebration I don’t miss that much. 

But other than that, I do miss all the other aspect of the festival: The family gatherings, the chatter and banter, the lights, the musical procession that the locals of our alley used to carry out. Tihar was always so full of energy. We, Newars, of course, also had our New Year celebrations right after as well.

Here in Calgary, we observe the festivities in our own small way. Though the Nepali community hosts a small get together, this year we are a little busy so we might not be able to attend. We plan to celebrate in our own home with good food (hoping to make sel roti this year), rangoli and some lights. I have even taken the day off on Laxmi Puja so I will be able to get my family together.

Prajwal Rupakheti-San Francisco, USA

My fondest memory of Tihar has always been of the time when I was still a child and used to celebrate all of my vacations in my maternal grandparents’ house. This was in Birgunj and since the city is near Raxaul in India, it was very easy to buy a lot of firecrackers for cheap there. I loved the fireworks at night. Tihar used to be the most hyped and anticipated holiday and festival for us and we use to start prepping for it as soon as Dashain was over. Even our (Tihar) celebration started almost a week before the official start on Kaag Tihar. For me, Tihar is always more fun and enjoyable when I am in Nepal. Here in San Francisco we celebrate it by organizing a quiet get together of Nepalis which to be honest does not really feel like Tihar.

 
• #festivenostalgia
 
• #abroad
 
• #dashainandtihar