Have you ever been victim of your kindness?

November 18, 2017 10:23 AM Moin Uddin


Have you ever been victim of your kindness? Most of us have learnt this lesson and also overcame it but the people like me having kindness for peoples’ suffering had to face the trauma every time I lent my things to their help.

I have lent money to the people for genuine reasons. At first, they seem innocent and reasonable in their sayings. They act kindly and promise to repay in few day but as soon as time crosses the limit, and when I call to remind them, they seem unavailable on phone calls and by chance when I manage to find them and ask for it, they give other reason and ask to understand their problems. I wonder who would understand the problem. Well, I have no choice but to believe them and wait for the next deadline to end. 

The first time I lent money was almost a decade ago. I lent Rs 5,000 to one of my friends at college in a promise to get it back the next day. It took me almost a year to get that back. I had to go to his home numerous times, talk with his parents and after a considerable amount of shame; his dad returned it to me. The next was at my workplace where I lent Rs 20,000 to my coworker.

This made him resign from his work. Luckily, I found him at the office of Employees Provident Fund after I got information that he had been there to collect his final earnings. This took me almost two years. The third was to my school friend who I knew since we studied in class seven. He was a talented musician and ran a recording company. When he asked Rs 20,000 with a promise to return it to me in a month, I could not deny. However, it took almost seven months to get my money back.

I had to threaten him saying I would tell his parents. Recently, I lent some money to one of the Nepali Army personnel who I met at a hospital where his grandfather and my dad were kept when they suffered from stroke. He talked with me frankly. Invited me to his office at Basantapur and took me at his home in Okhaldhunga for a few days.

He asked Rs 20,000 in a promise to return in a week. Now, I couldn’t deny him; so without hesitating I gave that amount to him. As always, I am still struggling to get it back. He does not respond to my calls, does not reply to my messages and turns a deaf ear. I went to his office. Talked with his colleagues and came to know that he had done this to many other people like me. 

I wonder why people change after taking a loan. Moreover, why is there sudden change in their behavior? They were good before – would call, text often, would take you for tea and lunch, but as soon as you lend them money, all their behaviors change. 

I feel quite afraid in thinking if I’d be able to repay the people whom I took loans from in time. I try my best never to ask money with anyone and I pray not to face this day. But, I wonder if these people have any shame and responsibility to pay back and answer the reason behind it.

You might have also faced this same situation, so what is the best way to deal with these loan takers and how to be aware to not fall victim of these kind of people for our kindness? Don’t shoot me, I’m partly to blame as well for being modest all the time.

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