I had heard this phrase “Always be ready for change because change is the only constant thing” a couple of times in school. As kids, we were taught to accept the alteration and be ready to handle the direst situation with courage and smile. We were told that everything happens for a reason and the dots are always connected. This has always been the mantra of life.

They say “have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing.” I wish I knew this earlier, before being attached to the persons and things around me

While this mantra exists, the question of the almighty taking my dad away remains. How is it possible for him to go away so suddenly, that too forever? How is it true that when we were chilling the previous night, we would not see him the next morning? How is it that the plan that we had for that Saturday never happened? How is it likely that the heart can just stop, without giving any time, that too of a person who has never been to a hospital before? How is it all right to accept that there was no science to this, and it had to happen? All of this has added more questions. Most importantly, how it is that if I want to talk to him right now, to ask the smallest thing, I can’t?

How do we know if we are going to get up the next morning or not or how do we know that this is the last time we would be seeing our closest? How do we know that we wouldn’t come back home, to our people and how do we know that this is goodbye? How do we comprehend that the life we say that belongs to us after we go away is ours? I do not have answers to any of these, but I know for the fact that nothing is ours.

What remain now are only memories, forget about the various other things that we have which we call ours. I am saying this because it is very important for us to understand and value every moment. It gives me jitters to think about me not getting up tomorrow, or imagine losing my closest ones. As much as I hate to say it, I have experienced it and I have realized that it can happen and it has. The most that can be done from our side is to believe that every day is a second chance, that the day that we are blessed with is an opportunity in itself. To live with that hope that there is tomorrow and being around people, places and things that make you happy.  

Shikha is a Chartered Accountant, and Client Servicing Executive at JWT Thompson Nepal, Durbar Marg.