Dear Malvika,
I am a 23-year-old girl. I am in a relationship for a year with a doctor. The main issue here is that he doesn’t have time for me. When I don’t talk to him, I feel very depressed. I was a patient of depression and have taken several counseling sessions from many psychologists. When I think of our future, I feel like I cannot be happy with him because he is occupied all the time and all I need is time and communication. I even thought of separating our ways, but he is also a patient of depression and is under medication for years. Whenever I tell him that it’s enough for me or let’s break up, he says he gets suicidal intentions. Neither can I be happy with him, nor can I leave him because of this emotional blackmail. What shall I do?
Now, this is a very difficult situation that you are in. I can understand the contemplation that you are going through.  Just the thought that your partner is also a patient of depression and has suicidal thoughts about break up is very disturbing. I suggest that you take your time with this. Don’t have too much expectation from the relationship. I believe one you do, that is where all your disappointments lie. Sometimes in a committed relationship we have to ask what we are doing for the other person than what are they doing for us. As a former patient of depression I am sure you can understand what he goes through.  Why don’t you manage the time for both of you? If he has night day you can ask him to meet you during the day for an hour or so. If he is on morning duty then you can meet during the evening time. Career is very important. Maybe you can also occupy yourself with work. You haven’t mentioned here what you do. But at 23, work should be your priority along with studies. Keep that straight and occupy yourself with other things too. Make sure that if not during the week, you meet up in the weekends. I would also suggest that you take up couples counseling. Once he hears from a professional person he might be able to understand what you go through. Good luck. 

Dear Malvika,
I am 20-year-old girl studying at the bachelor’s level in Nepal. I have a great passion in journalism but I am enrolled for BASW. I chose this subject so that I can have wider knowledge about society and represent journalism through this course as well. But I feel guilty for not choosing the subject of my interest. On the other side, I had always dreamt of holding an international degree in Journalism. Studying abroad, I feel I can have my degree, explore much and come back to Nepal after the completion of my study. Therefore, I am planning to apply for education in Australia. However, I am in a great dilemma about taking the decision as my friends there are telling me that the situation is not like what we think in Nepal. Here, I am not interested in the subject that I am studying. Shall I start the application process for abroad or live here and continue my studies? Please give me some suggestions.
It is not a big deal if you are confused about your career and studies choice. I studied management in bachelors and took up mass communication and journalism for my masters. Most people do the same too. So you have two options here. You can finish your bachelors and try for masters or you can apply abroad and transfer your credit. Anything is possible these days. Your knowledge in BSW will help you further in your career. So it’s not a big mistake that you have made at all. I believe listening to other people may have confused you. Don’t let it affect you. Once you have made up your mind you need to focus on it. There will be other examples in life where people will try to make you change your mind. You have many options where you can experiment with. So it’s not too late as of yet. The rest is up to you. 

Dear Malvika,
I am a 24-year-old guy living in the UK. I have many friends in my life with whom I usually hang out with. My family is quite liberal although I am independent and don’t stay with them. I have been in many relationships so far but I have not felt any of those intensely. I have lately been feeling that I can connect to men more than women. This feeling has invited more questions and confusions relating to my sexual identity. I feel awkward about myself thinking how my family will react to all this? I am quite convinced of this fact and I don’t want to go to third person and confirm it. What do you say?
Have you had sexual relations with a man? Are you attracted to men? If yes, then definitely your interest is in the same sex. And the only way to know that is to let yourself aware of how you feel being with a man. Most people figure their sexuality very late in life. And it’s not advisable to confess it to anyone unless you are sure about it. Why don’t you try grindr? And see how that goes. You can also find gay men around your community with whom you can communicate and talk about how you feel.  Once you know for sure then with time you can start informing your friends and family. First be sure of what you want because it is not fair on your people if you are confused now. But when you are then with time people will understand. I am sure you have heard about Blogger Lex Limbu and his courage to come out. It takes time and I am sure it will be fine.

Dear Malvika,
I am a 32-year-old mother of two children. I used to work before but have not joined any work since I became a mother. Both of my children have hit their teens this year and I told my husband that I want to work again. He is happy to send me to work but wants me to spend time with our children for few more years. He feels that they yet need their mother’s guidance which I feel is true in some ways. However, I also want to work. What would you suggest?
Are you asking advice on working from a mother of a two-year-old? Of course, I would say go for it. They are already in their teens. And you have had a long gap year. Most work is during the day when they go to school. So it’s okay for you to get back to work. All working moms juggle. Women are good at multi-tasking and even though it is not easy, we all get through. Children need both their parents’ guidance, not just the mothers’. Combined parenthood should be the mantra of the new generation. It teaches our children to be gender sensitive and teaches them to work as a team. But then this is about your family. But if you feel deep down that now it’s time, then it is time. So start sending in those CVs. It will take you some time to adjust to the new competitive working market. But don’t lose hope in a few months’ time. It will ultimately feel like you had never left work at all and you will enjoy it too.