I’ve always wondered what was wrong with aspiring not for world peace but to act in a film opposite Dayahang Rai. Wouldn’t that be more doable, not to mention believable?

We Nepalis really seem to love our beauty pageants. I was aware that there were niche beauty and ‘talent’ contests all over the place but we seem to have so many of them, under so many categories, that the mind boggles at the sheer numbers (and possibly futility) of it all.  

We have them according to ethnic groups (Miss Newa, Miss Sherpa), according to marital status (Miss Nepal, Mrs Nepal), according to sexual orientation (Mr Gay Handsome, Miss Gay Nepal), according to level of education (Miss SLC, Miss +2, Miss SEE, Miss College), according to district (Miss Chitwan, Miss Kathmandu), according to zones (Miss Purwanchal), according to skills (Miss Scuba Nepal) and according to many other criteria that are too lengthy to list out. It surprising that we haven’t suffered from beauty pageant fatigue already. 

Judging from that pile above, it can safely be assumed that most people might only concern themselves with the results of the Miss Nepal pageant – which in itself takes some doing given that there are variations on the World, Universe, Milky Way, Galaxy and all that. While Miss Nepal is seen as being a definitive contest, anyone with a little ‘moolah’ can throw on any other pageant and, with so many of them around, what really is the point of all these competitions? The transient nature of most media coverage these days (anyone remember the pretty vegetable seller girl?) means that winners are already forgotten even before they have removed their tiaras.  

To make matters worse, within all these contests there are so many subcategories – Miss Beautiful Smile, Miss Shiny Hair and Miss Brains (duh) and something or the other for literally every organ of the body that comes to mind. Presumably, all of these titles are set up to ensure as many participants win. Actually, they are set up according to the sponsors but the end result is that there are so many “beauty queens” floating around that we might as well just give them all a crown and a sash and be done with it.

Since we like these pageants so much, I’m surprised that we don’t have more age classifications like FIFA does, you know – like Under 19’s or under 21’s or even weight classifications like boxing – lightweight, featherweight, bantamweight, heavyweight (though this might not be a category to aspire to) etc. This way we could have endless categories and sub-categories thereby eliminating the need for competition and making sure that all of them win.

Anyway, I love a bit of glamour as much as the next person but all of this gets inane after a while. After a length of time, it can get tiresome seeing the affectations of contestants and pretensions to advocacy of one ‘noble’ cause or another. There are only so many times you can hear contestants spout the same memorized GDP stats, women’s empowerment issues, wishes for ‘world peace’ and two bit inspirational quotes off of the internet. All of these ‘questions and answer’ components are designed to promote the same ‘beauty with a purpose’ trope that inevitably gets thrown around to combat the perceived shallowness of these events.

We are meant to believe that these vacuous competitions sponsored by lascivious businessmen are really there to promote women empowerment and confidence when most of them struggle to go beyond physical beauty. I’ve always wondered what was wrong with aspiring not for world peace but to act in a film opposite Dayahang Rai. Wouldn’t that be more doable, not to mention believable? Anyway, these noble causes and larger than life goals are encouraged, presumably so that the participants can be good role models to younger girls. I mean, if that is not dripping with irony then I don’t know what is.

Beyond encouraging these affectations, what these pageants often do is reinforce our often extremely distorted notions and standards of beauty. I mean for impressionable kids not having bigger eyes or fairer skin or a smaller nose becomes a heavy burden to bear and this ‘Kardashian’ ideal of beauty is not something we would like to propagate. We tend to start our kids off at an early age with this and that competition so we should be a bit wary of this sort of ‘skin deep’ thinking especially in this age of vanity driven by social media where everyone feels pressured to subscribe to predefined standards of beauty. 

Apart from the obvious mental effects, the fact is that most beauty pageants are largely unregulated which leaves many young people vulnerable to exploitation by unscrupulous organizers. When chasing dreams, it’s not easy to see past your own nose, and dreams of stardom and fame can make young folks oblivious to many kinds of dangers. It’s not all doom and gloom though because there have been winners (and participants) who have used these platforms to make a name for themselves and positively inspired others. But even then we could do without our concept of beauty being defined by all this posturing, pomp, and pageantry. 

The writer loves traveling, writing, and good food when he is afforded an escape from the rat race. He can be contacted at gunjan.u@gmail.com

 
• beauty
 
• pageantry