KATHMANDU, March 2: When Dino Gurung, born and bred in Singapore, boarded the one-way flight from Singapore to Kathmandu last year, it was a reality he could not accept.
“I couldn’t accept the fact that I was leaving Singapore for good,” said the 19-year-old in his Singaporean English accent. He also had no choice but to leave his Singaporean girlfriend of two years behind.
“We both ended up crying when I told him I’d miss him tremendously when he leaves,” Gladys Teo said. They promised to keep in touch though it was hard to see him go, she said.
As his father’s contract with the Singapore Police Force (SPF) Gurkha Contingent had ended, Dino’s family had to make preparations to leave Singapore permanently.
DOWN MEMORY LANE: (From left to right) Sujita Gurung, Milan Thapa Magar, Prima Rana, Umesh Rana and Dino Gurung all holding up their precious memories of their time in Singapore. Some of the items include class photographs, yearbooks and a birth certificate.
Zakaria Zainal
Grappling with reality
Dino’s family is typical of the many families who leave Singapore permanently for Nepal once their fathers reach the age of 45 or serves a maximum of 27 years with the SPF according to former inspector of the Gurkha Contingent Dawa Thsering Sherpa.
Those affected are usually the Singaporean-bred Nepali youths – coming to terms with the reality of a new environment altogether.
“Though they are here in Nepal, these children look like Singaporeans and behave like Singaporeans,” the 47-year-old Sherpa said.
Dino is not alone as Sherpa’s son Bikash, also feels disoriented living in a new country despite regular trips to Nepal about once in three years.
“I thought I was prepared,” the 18-year-old said. He added that other Nepali youths like him knew that their time to leave Singapore for Nepal had come once their fathers reach retirement age.
“But at Changi airport I cried so hard,” he said, “Even after two to three months, I cannot believe that I am here.”
Culture shock
Most of these youths arrive in Nepal during the November or December period and would need to wait till May, following the academic calendar in the country, before resuming their education usually at Malpi International College doing their ‘A’ levels.
“As this was a period of time where we had nothing to do, most of us felt depressed and hopeless,” Sujita Gurung said.
Besides school, they also had to deal with the weather, the food and assimilating into Nepali culture.
Dino had lost a total of seven kilograms last year living in Kathmandu as he found the food different to the local Singaporean fare or the fast food outlets available to him.
In their last week in Singapore, some of these youths would eat as great a variety of food as they can before leaving. Their favorite dishes include “Chili Crab” and “Roti Prata”. Though there is a dish similar to “Roti Prata” here, 18-year-old Milan Thapa Magar exclaimed that it was not the same: “I want my prata-man to flip the roti!”
Milan added that the cold December weather, coupled with the load-shedding was a double whammy for him. He got too used to the hot and humid weather in Singapore, thinking it would be the same here.
Interacting with those who grew up here was difficult as well added 18-year-old Umesh Rana.
“We can see their reaction when we talk in Nepali,” he said, “behind our backs they are laughing at us.” Those interviewed indicated that they had no formal education in learning Nepali and simply picked up the language by interacting with their parents back in Singapore.
Holding on to memories
During the interview, all of them brought little tokens that still serve as memories of their time in Singapore.
For Umesh, his school yearbooks are his most cherished items. He shared with this reporter his time in the National Cadet Corps, a uniformed group, where he learnt values such as discipline and teamwork.
For Prima Rana, she had a diary filled with well-wishes from friends and photos in happier times. The 18-year-old also brought her treasured birth certificate which at the bottom part said: “The child is not a citizen of Singapore at the time of birth.”
When asked if they harbor any resentment at such an arrangement of having to leave Singapore after being immersed in the country’s lifestyle and culture for almost two decades, most did not know how to answer except for Sujita.
Though she is grateful for the education and higher standard of living in Singapore, she spoke on their behalf that most of them would like to stay to further their studies.
She could have pursued a much sought-after diploma in Mass Communications but rejected it after her sister’s advice on the hassle of the student visa in Singapore.
“We are fine with not having citizenship or PR (Permanent Resident) status, but at least let us further our studies,” Sujita said.
“Coming back to Nepal, we feel lost and stuck and unsure where to start again.”
CITY FEVER: (From left to right) Komal Thapa, Bikash Sherpa, Ramesh Pun and Puspa Limbu are still struggling to settle in this new city amidst the madness of traffic.
Zakaria Zainal
“It’s not the end of the world”
Dino, at one point, tried to reconcile the fact of living here by finding out his roots and his identity. Both his mum and dad were born in Hong Kong and Singapore respectively; they too were unsure how to explain the Gurung lineage.
He could ask his grandparents though the language barrier proved too difficult. He gave up and said: “We are foreigners in Nepal.”
Dino’s mother, Shova Gurung, was philosophical about coming back to live in Nepal. She said that settling in would depend from person to person.
Personally for her, she worked hard to be employed as a head trainer in Jasmine Fitness Club in a society where there was lack of opportunities for women employment. She also had the support of her parents who were willing to look after the children while she was out working the whole day.
“It’s not the end of the world,” she said, while her son looks on with eyebrows raised, about being displaced from Singapore and living here.
“There are many other Nepalis who work and live overseas later on,” the 38-year-old said.
For now, Dino is working hard to do well in his studies and find a way out of this country.
When asked if Nepal is home, Dino was not sure about calling this country home.
Meanwhile Umesh said it best:
“Here doesn’t feel like home but back in Singapore was half-half too.”
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Please give your full name while posting your comments. This is not to stifle the free flow of comments but your full name will enable us to print the comments in our newspaper.
This is the true reality we have to face when our dad contract with the Gurkha Contingent (GC), Singapore Police Force.
This is not new. This has been going on since the first Gurkhas settled in Singapore with their families after the creation of GC in 1949.
My family returned to Nepal for good in 2001. I returned 2 years later when i was denied the student visa by the Singapore Immigration.
Having grown up and educated in Singapore for 17 years, i found my
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dilip rai
Been there, seen it & done it! It´s a constant struggle the first few months. The best thing to do would be to make full use of your time exploring the country and culture.
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Bob
Here is a link to a blog post that is related to this article.
http://thinkingnepal.com/2009/03/02/the-lost-nepalis/. It talks about Third Culture Kids and related issues this article is trying to address.
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