The other day, my wife kicked me out of the bed after reading something on Facebook. As I lay on the floor, my wife looked very sad. I asked her what had happened. Was it another aftershock or a new earthquake somewhere that upset her, I inquired. 

She looked like she was in shock. She then said, “It’s bigger than that.” Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai had just committed suicide. I told her that was not possible. She is happily married with a kid and seems to be enjoying her life. My wife got mad at me. She threw a pillow at my face and told me that anyone can suffer from depression and some do end their lives because they could not get the help they needed then.

She showed me the news link and the pictures and what not. I told her that she should stop believing everything posted on Facebook. Well, I have been telling her that since we got married. But she continues to use Facebook to see the latest offering from a jewelry shop in New Road and then click on links from so-called news websites that promote fake news and seem to get a lot of visitors on their sites. I tell her to stop checking out the new expensive necklace that I can’t afford or read about a person with six arms. Both are injurious to one’s health. 

Internet is good. It is supposed to help in exchange of ideas and information between people all around the world. Facebook is good. It is supposed to help to connect with your friends, families and even frenemies. But it seems that half the folks around the world spend their days taking selfies and the other commenting on those selfies. That was the world of Facebook, until recently I guess. 

Now, fake news seems to be new trend. Yes, people don’t read newspapers like they used to back in the days. Most of us don’t even check out the online version of the newspapers at all. But nearly all of us use Facebook and we get all types of fake news on our newsfeed. And half of us click on those links and then share them with our friends and spend the rest of the day talking about it all. 

Well, websites like ‘The Onion’ has been providing us their daily dose of satire in the form of fake news for ages but it seems that most of us believe everything that’s on the net. I think it’s about time somebody started a news website in Nepal that publishes fake news but not ignorant racist ones or death hoaxes or anything in bad taste. Maybe, somebody can publish news like ‘Prachanda quits table tennis, takes up weightlifting’ or ‘KP Oli finds oil in Balkot’. It may not be true but it will at least help us start our day with laughter.
 

It took me nearly a day to convince my wife that Aishwarya Rai was not dead.

My wife was finally convinced late in the evening that the Junior Bachchan’s wife was alive and well. Then she showed me an article in which experts tell us that we are due another ‘big one’ anytime soon. Finally, my wife had clicked on a news link that was not fake.

Yes, we have no choice but to deal with it. A major earthquake is coming. But we don’t know if it will be next year, next decade or after 2050. I tell my wife that we should start hiking around the valley every Saturday to prepare for the next ‘big one’. If we get hit by a quake bigger than 8.0 then our roads, airport and electric poles may be destroyed. We will have no power and nowhere to drive and we will have no option but to walk all the way to Hetauda and reach Tarai. So, we need to be build up our stamina to walk for hours and days to be safe. And we need to start now. 

I also remind my wife that if we get hit by a big one after 2050, then we needn’t worry because Elon Musk by then would have established a colony in Mars and we can sell everything we have and book a ticket. If we can’t afford it then at least we might still have each other to hold and wait it out together till our world ends. 

I tell my wife that she should just read the daily newspapers or check their online version to be aware of what’s going on in the country. She tells me that she doesn’t care because the politicians are the same and they are corrupt and only care about themselves. I tell her that she is right (as always) but she also needs to read the news so that she can plan ahead. If half the country is shut down for a week then we here in the valley will face shortages of everything. So it is always better to stock up on essential items. 

And since she has a scooter, she needs to at least have a stock of ten liters of petrol so that a week’s banda will not affect her movement around the valley. My wife rolls her eyes and tells me that she knows the petrol pump in Balkhu and they have enough fuel even during bandas. I remind her that during the blockade the guy at Balkhu asked for five hundred rupees per liter. She then goes back to checking her Facebook page. Her eyes light up. There is a big necklace fit for Aishwarya Rai Bachchan only and at a price only she can afford.

The writer is a house husband who believes in changing, if not the world, the community he lives in one person at a time.

 
• it’s a sham
 
• the week
 
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