Be your own inspiration

May 16, 2018 11:03 AM Republica


Heart to heart with Malvika

Dear Malvika, 
I am a 20-year-old girl from Butwal. I live in Japan with my parents. I am working here and earning well. The problem is I could not pass my high school and with time passing by, I understand the value of education but it is now tough for me to clear my exams. In order to continue my studies here, I need my high school certificate to join any other colleges or university which I don’t have. I am scared of upcoming days. I see lots of people with degree and certificates and wherever they go they will find good work with the help of their qualifications but it is not the case with me. So could you please suggest me what shall I do on this matter?

I have answered a similar question last week as well. If this is something that you need then it is not too late to finish what you started. High school is like the basic map of education. It will definitely be troublesome for you in the future. And I know that it bothers you already. So why can’t you look for options to finish it in Japan itself. I mean how hard that can be. As long as you have the physical and mental capacity, you can do anything in life. You just need to put your heart and mind to it. And I know for sure that you can do this. You can always balance work and education for the next two years and just get it over and done with. The journey will not be easy but this is something that you really want then make it happen rather than regretting later on in life. 

Dear Malvika,
I am 24-year-old girl recently graduated from university. I studied literature as my major subject in the bachelor’s level. However, my sisters studied science and are seeking their career as doctor and engineer. I feel satisfied that I have a degree in literature but at times I feel like my sisters and family members look down on my choice of studying a subject which has not so much to do compared to science. They tease me for studying such a subject which as they say has no such growing scope and that really annoys me. I am trying not to listen to what they say. What else shall I do to not let myself get affected by their perception?

Make it happen. At the end it doesn’t matter what subject we all study. It all depends on what we do with it. You have just finished your graduation so now it’s time to work. Focus on what you need to do rather than being let down by what others think of you. We might not always get the support that we need from the family. And this should be our source of inspiration and motivation wherein you make sure you prove them wrong. That is what I did when I did not have much support when I chose media. I stood by what I was interested at rather than doing what they wanted me to. And I have come a long way. In the end I am appreciated for what I have achieved. If I had fumbled in between I wouldn’t have achieved anything at all. So don’t let the negativity get to your head rather seek your own motivation and be your own inspiration.

Dear Malvika,
I am a 25-year-old boy from Pokhara. I admired a girl since my school but she chose my friend as her life partner. I was badly hurt and wanted her in my life knowing that the guy who she has married is seeing many other girls behind her back. She won’t believe me if I tell her as I have tried telling her many times. Sometimes I feel like she is aware of all this but not trying to get separated from him as she is already married to him. Please let me know how I can help her.

People have to make their own choice when it comes to leaving marriage. Others can just advise them but it has to come from them. She has to make that choice herself and you cannot force her into it. You have already mentioned to her about him yet she chooses to be with him. You can just be a friend in need but you cannot force her into anything. I know it’s very frustrating but that is how it is. You can show her the way. Give her various justifications saying that this is not the end of the world and people do survive and move on after getting divorced. You can also ask her to go for counseling with her husband. Maybe that can be a good way for them too. 

Dear Malvika,
I am a 28-year-old woman currently working at an insurance company. I share a good relation with each of my colleagues in office. There is a senior colleague of mine who is double my age. He is married and says that he finds our company quite fun and interesting. He time and again flirts with me but is descent with his behavior. He takes me for coffee sometimes and recently asked me to go for an outing with him. I am totally not into him. I don’t know whether I have been thinking too much being skeptic or he is actually giving me especial preference in his life. I don’t know if I shall act cool or stay alert. Could you help me out of this?

I believe that office romance with a married man is a no-no. If you feel that he flirts with you then he does flirt with you. As long as there is a boundary this will not go anywhere. But if you start meeting him separately and outside then definitely things will take another turning. And I am sure this is not where you want to go. So I would suggest that you keep this relationship very professional. And not let it go further at all. Because if you do, you won’t be able to come out of it and this will just turn ugly. You will just have to say no to going for an outing. And just be causal about it and he shall get the answer. If he starts advancing more than your liking it, then just be open about it and tell him that you are not interested at all. 
 

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