Toxic masculinity promotes the idea that men are better than women. Those that don’t abide by the patriarchal rules of what defines a man are often called “girls”

“Boys will be boys” is a saying that is used as an excuse to let boys get away with things that girls could possibly never get away with. When I was a kid I never questioned it but as I grew up, I discovered that there is so much more to this statement than just four words. 

The idea that strength, aggression and toughness are typical to man has resulted in the creation of toxic masculinity. This set of standards that our society holds for men is damaging their as well as others’ lives. By pressuring men to dominate women, express no feelings, and making it compulsory for them to be strong, the society is missing out on all the other incredible aspects of life that should be obtainable for any human, irrespective of gender. 

While talking about negative effects of toxic masculinity, I am not deprecating men in any way. I am only pointing the unjust standards that men are compelled to follow and how they are also affecting others around them. In many societies when a boy falls, he is told to man up and is often said “boys don’t cry.” It pressures them to hide their feelings, other than anger. A study by Social Psychological and Personality Science has proved that suppression of emotions is one of the causes that lead to aggressive behavior. This leads to another effect. Violence. 

The Isla Vista shooting of the US in 2014 is a perfect example of how toxic masculinity can affect a person. Elliot Rodger carried out the shooting and he filmed a video before his attack where he says: “I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me, but I will punish you for it.” He also mentioned how he wanted to punish sexually active men because he envied them. He fell under the spell of ‘toxic masculinity’ and thus he chose to act violently to retrieve his rights as a “man”—killing four men, shooting three women, stabbing pedestrians, running over people before shooting himself. 

Another major effect of toxic masculinity is misogyny. Toxic masculinity promotes the idea that men are better than women. Those that don’t abide by the patriarchal rules of what defines a man are often called “girls” as a form of an insult. It makes it seem like being a girl is a disgrace. Toxic masculinity puts down men for supporting feminism but it also puts down women at the same time which leads to another relatively big topic which is gender discrimination against women. 

Toxic masculinity’s most recurrent victims are women. A survey run by The Conversation showed that young men who agreed with the ideals of what toxic masculinity promotes were six times as likely as other men to have sexually harassed a woman. 

Sexual harassment includes making sexual remarks or comments on girls or women they didn’t know online or in a public area. It is not enough to simply blame ‘society’ for these evils. Society is not some distant force. We are what makes up the society. We need to stop associating men with the stereotypical definition of what a man should be like. 

I’ve met amazing men who are sweet, compassionate and caring. Toxic masculinity affects them as well because they are seen to be not manly enough and are more likely to get discriminated against. 

To eradicate this problem, we need to start by not normalizing toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity affects all. It’s high time to teach men to be accountable for what they do.

 
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